Please Don't Fuck It Up.

Best article about dating I've read in awhile. Had me laughing...whilst in the office. The quiet office.

Some highly hilarious highlights:
"In other words, when a gentleman you might have intentions on banging does this to you, when he strikes you with the flat of his hand in a friendly way, it is instantly made clear that you are never ever ever in your life going to get that man spread out naked on your My Little Pony bedsheets. Even if you push your boobs right up under your chin and tiptoe past him a hundred times in your trashiest slutbag hookersuit, homeboy is probably not going to tap that."

 and

 "I said to myself, "Self, you don't deserve this. You still pee in the shower, and you haven't done a sit-up since 1996. Please don't fuck it up."
Best.

READ IT AND GIGGLE YO'SHEESH HERE