The Faces of Judgement.

This is going to be the summer where, according to my friends, we take pictures everytime we go out "so it looks like we actually have friends and aren't losers."  This is an actual quote. We actually live quite close to, if not on the boarder of loser-ville. I cannot express this enough.

So, obviously since photos were going to be taken, I have subconsciously decided to start the summer off on the right foot by going crazy and ruining photos by unleashing my insanity and loser-ville antics for the world to see. 

Be a witness my insanity and genuine loserness:

I have the look of a crazed person. Notice the devil staring at you through my laser beam eyes and my subtle, but ever present, arthritic rock on. Not to mention the fact that I am in fact, eating a hot dog on 5th Avenue at 3:30 in the morning.

My current self is totally judging my last night self...psht, loser-ville central. Although, I definitely did some judging of my own last night, as witnessed here:

Em is always a good help at judging me as well--keeps me grounded, you know. This judgement is most definitely at antics relating, but not limited to insanity. 

Or, let's be honest, at the bachelorette party-goers drinking out of penis straws at The Standard. 

Really, bachelorette party girls? Penis straws? 

Judgements galore.

Queen BAMF

Happy Diamond Jubilee to the Queen of all of the BAMFs.

Here's lookin' at you, Queen Elizabeth II.

via

Summer in the City

Hey, Interwebz, guess what?

 It's kindof summer outside! After a few hellish weeks of nasto humidity and thunderstorms, one can only assume that this crockpot of summer goodness is here to stay--at least for the next 3-4 months. For some ungodly reason I am actually somewhat excited about the oppressive heat, humidity, and all around smelliness that is New York in the summertime.

I think it's mostly because this summer brings the following things:

5. Brimfield! I am so excited to go hunting for new-old furnishings galore!
4. Popsicles! I am of the belief that popsicles should have their own food group. They are the perfect snack on a sticky, hot day: instant cool down. Am I right, or am I right?
3. Picnics! Every summer my trusty gang and myself go on picnics, which most of the time, include games of Uno, Jello, good times and Polaroid cameras...which brings me to my #2....
2. Polaroids! There's just something magical about waiting for that photo to develop that cannot be emulated by any sort of Instagram-type device. (Although, I am quite a hypocrite, as I do enjoy the Instagram as well. But my first love will always be film. Romantical. Sigh.) The photos are even more magical in the summer with the faded colors of the summer-summer-summertime light.

and the #1 reason I'm excited about this summer is...

1. RELOCATION! After testing out the waters as Uptown Girls, Em and I have decided that we were not meant to be posh sophisticates (or at least I'm not, she's still on the fence about living in a $30 million apartment that she saw in the NY Times Real Estate section...) and are meant to be living across the river in Brooklyn! Home of good pizza, crazy hipsters, and good times with our friends (all of which still live there!) I'm so excited, I've already started looking for an apartment, way too early...BUT I DON'T CARE!

I'M BROOKLYN BOUND, BABY!

Please Don't Fuck It Up.

Best article about dating I've read in awhile. Had me laughing...whilst in the office. The quiet office.

Some highly hilarious highlights:
"In other words, when a gentleman you might have intentions on banging does this to you, when he strikes you with the flat of his hand in a friendly way, it is instantly made clear that you are never ever ever in your life going to get that man spread out naked on your My Little Pony bedsheets. Even if you push your boobs right up under your chin and tiptoe past him a hundred times in your trashiest slutbag hookersuit, homeboy is probably not going to tap that."

 and

 "I said to myself, "Self, you don't deserve this. You still pee in the shower, and you haven't done a sit-up since 1996. Please don't fuck it up."
Best.

READ IT AND GIGGLE YO'SHEESH HERE

I think that I need to blow these up and hand them out to people on the regular. It could be my schtick.

And also a pre-apology for any rudeness and or douchey-ness that ensues during the course of our interactions.

 Yes. Let's.

My lipstick matches the color-blocked wedges I'm wearing today. Just in case you were wondering, interwebz, I am that cool.

Loser.

New Year, New Resolutions

Gutentaug my dahling Interwebz! Happy (belated by about a week) New Year!

I've been neglecting you again, and for that, I do apologize. My life has been work, sleep, (maybe) eat, rinse, wash, repeat for the past 4-ish months or so. I did laundry last night for the first time in..oh...an embarrassing amount of time that I won't tell you because, well, it's disgusting. And when washing my dirty laundry, I began thinking about all I've accomplished in the past year and all that I hope to accomplish this upcoming year to make it even better than the last. So..I thought I'd share!

Last year, I won a few design awards, graduated from the toughest four years I've experienced, went to Vegas and survived, moved out of my beloved Brooklyn to a new apartment on the Upper East Side, started a twitter (self promo, so sue me), got a new job, made some ridiculously awesome new people, grew out my hair, chopped it all off, started dating again, met a few losers, met a few winners, and did it all with the best group of friends I've ever had by my side ridiculing me for my antics along the way--just the way I like it.

This year I hope to do more of the same with a bit more punch and pizazz added in for good measure. I hope to get a "legit" job--you know, the kind that pays me for designing stuff that I want to be designing (a girl can dream!). I hope to see more of those epic friends who make me laugh so hard. I hope to continue dating the wrong sort of guys so I can meet the right one for me. I hope to laugh at all of my mistakes, there's bound to be a plethora of new ones this year. I hope to work hard and continue to expand my business ventures. I hope to see my family more. I hope to start thinking of myself as my own (gasp) adult person-thingie and to start taking care of business, just like Aretha.

And above all, I hope to finally install that damn hanging lamp in my living room. That's just been pissing me off.

Do you have any hopes for the New Year, Interweb? Lose a few of those Spam-site pounds? Not that you need it, I think you're beautiful just as you are. Minus the pop-ups. Those have to go.